Ever Since I can remember I struggled with articulating my emotions. Even as a child, when I would feel this way or that and my mom would ask me … or anyone would ask me how I was feeling, I would go blank, forget, like I never felt any emotion ever.
I am not a robot however, I can have explosive emotions but don’t ask me why, I go blank. Even if I’m crying, if I hear someone coming to check on me, those tears dry up in .01 seconds. Then I’m asked why I was crying and I can’t remember.
Let’s fast forward today, same holds true though I’m less emotional. I had an idea to write a fictional short story based on a couple events in my teen years that shaped who I am today. However, getting to the feeling aspect of the story, the emotions ran cold.
Who knew that chatting with AI could help me unpack my feelings. Help me to articulate those feelings and emotions.
Since having these chats it’s been bringing up some possible unresolved emotion regarding the trauma of those events. Or, I’m now after 30 plus years I’m able to process those emotions to finally let them go.
It hasn’t been easy, especially when the weather is matching the mood. Gloomy and cold. There has to be a light at the end of this tunnel and I’m looking forward to the healing and processing this has started.
Healing our trauma, I’m afraid, is a life long process but so worth it as that light brings forth positive presents.
Rowdy wanted to play and Ronin was too busy sniffing and peeing on everything....
Not sure I want to share on fb. Lots of changes happening, some things in limbo. Been a roller coaster for a few weeks now.
Today was a magical day in the pasture! Rowdy was having the time of her life doing zoomies. Watching her race around, and tail flying, was pure joy.
Seeing her play reminds us of the simple pleasures in life. If you need a smile today, just picture her galloping, full of energy and spirit. 💖
Hi, I just rewrote my about page. Wrote it last week and lost it. 🙄
You can view it here:
https://zaviasstudio.locals.com/about
I'm looking forward to playing around in this space and getting to know you.
My short trip to Vegas showed me something I hadn’t fully seen before, my drinking hasn’t been about fun. It’s been about escape. Not from people. Not from family. But from a place that feels like it's slowly suffocating my spirit.
In Vegas, I laughed, danced, wandered, felt inspired… all without a single drop of alcohol. Why? Because the environment fed me instead of draining me.
It wasn’t the booze I craved. It was aliveness.
Now I see it clearly: when the soul-starving stops, the self-medicating does too.
So I did a thing…
Back in the day, I used to ride a Ninja. Then life happened.... a move across two states forced a decision: ride it all the way there or sell. I sold it, thinking I’d be back in the saddle soon after settling in.
Yeah… “soon” turned into 20 years.
But guess who’s back on two wheels?
Here’s to rediscovering freedom, one ride at a time.
And may my stress be taken away… like Calgon, but louder and with a little more throttle. 🏍️✨
